Svein Åge Mathisen
Borne in Larvik 20 November 1960
Solveig Mathisen
Borne in Cape Town 20 October 1961
Father: Åge Oskar Mathisen.
Norwegian seaman. Twice married and divorced, five children, his life ended alone in Spain some years ago. Never got to know him, spent a week together on the ship. That was when he came to get me in South Africa at the age of nineteen. We didn’t hit it off, he came too late.
He never showed any interest in his family, really messed up his life. Sorry I never got to tell him about my Lord Jesus before he passed away.
He left three sons in Larvik, my half brothers.
Reidar happily married, four children.
Oskar married, one daughter.
Vidar in a relationship, one daughter.
Mother: Francine Luff, Mathisen, Leans, Veale.
A British citizen, today living in Cornwall England.
Married two or three times and total seven kids, newly found out it’s eight. Staying in England with her grownup children, Shaun, Grant, Tracy my little sister passed away the day after her son got married, and Brendan.
She now lives alone with her dogs, and keeps her family close at hand.
Shaun is a widower with three children and grandchildren.
Grant has been in a long relationship.
Tracy passed away at 35, leaving behind four children and grandchildren.
Brendan is married, has three children.
Paul, the new arrival since 2014 also married with children and grandchildren.
I believe she was a restless soul, always on the move, running away from someone or something. Grew up a Roman Catholic, rebelled against it, but always relied on the churches to help her in times of need. Remember her as a wild drunk sneaking through the bedroom window and fighting with her parents. Flower power was the thing back then, not her children. Remember once she told us that our father was dead, just an excuse for not facing the truth. Had relationship problems, also with her parents who are now passed away.
At the age of fifteen I stayed with her a while, and was ver proud of having such a cool easy living mom. Young at heart and a people’s person whom everybody loved.
Always thought I was the firstborn, but at fifty-four I was told about our latest addition to the family, our brother Paul, whom we were never told of. Paul was borne a few years before me, but taken from her at birth.
He found out about some of her life and told us things she never told us. Our mom has had a full life with a lot of pain and suffering, but at the same time very strong. She never gave inn, a fighter with her own story worth telling.
Grandparents:
My mothers parents, Jimmy and Peggy Luff. (Nanna and grandad)
They were from England; granddad was a musician and had his own band. They played on the big passenger ships, and were very popular in their day.
They were fortune seekers and settled in South Africa.
Good people, hard workers that did their best. They had two children, my mom and her brother. Unfortunately there was never any love among them, for reasons that I know nothing about. Not a very happy family!
They never found real peace, and even after their own children had left home they suddenly found themselves having responsibility for their grandchildren (Svein Åge and Solveig Mathisen).
They were not wealthy, struggled to make ends meet. But it was important that they seemed wealthy to everyone else. They did the best they could with us and I am very grateful today. They were good parents for us, they did their best, no regrets.
Childhood:
Borne in Larvik Norway 20 november 1960, shortly after why I don’t know, mom left for South Africa, back to her parents. She was now pregnant with my sister ‘Solveig’ and dad would meet her there later. They both sailed on separate ships, must have been tough times for them.
They tried to settle in Cape Town but found it very difficult, a tough culture coming from Norway to Africa. Life as a sailor is a very restless one, the sea and lifestyle calls one back.
So mom was left behind with two kids and in her early twenties, no life for a wild girl on her own. She went back to her old life, drinking and all that followed that lifestyle. Probably problems with her parents made things worse for her, she ended up in the gutters, in a terrible state.
Remember her as the one who sometimes came to stay the night, she climbed through the window, and always ended up in a fight with her mom. Nana was a fighter, and reacted quickly saying and doing things she most probably regretted afterwards.
Mom had to get away, disappeared for many years before she came back with a new child ‘Shaun’, his father was a terrible drunk, what they called white trash.
So as you see we were abandoned by both parents, no-one ever told us the truth, because we were always too young. Always difficult to cover over guilt and shame, never their own fault.
Many years later I’d heard from Shaun, that when mom was drunk that she had mentioned having had another child, when she was in her teens, also that truth was also kept from us. Heard rumors that we had an older brother or sister somewhere in the world. The strange thing is that even growing up with my mothers parents, they never even mentioned the child.
Well! we were also abandoned by our parents after Solveig was borne. Left at an orphanage in Cape Town, don’t know how long we stayed there, until our grandparents took us to their home.
Why? Because of guilt, responsibility or some strange kind of love.
Childcare
After our father drew back to Norway working on the ships, mom ran off, had enough with her own life.
Those days our grandparents had to work hard to survive, and in a foreign country, grandad had to start a new career at the city power station. No work or money in the music branch in Cape Town. Nana worked in a clothing store, as a seller.
During those years we had maids (coloured servants, local cheap labour) to look after us.
Left alone in the house with them, they could do what they wanted. There job was to look after us kids, feeding and cleaning etc. They also had house cleaning chores, and to prepare for dinner, before our grandparents got home from work.
Unfortunately they never lasted very long, because they stole, and had no responsibility for us kids. I mean why should they care, they were oppressed by the apartheid regime.
Grandparents had to leave home early to catch the train into town, they had to work. They had no family and few friends, with no-one to support them in a foreign land, just as I also experienced by coming to Norway.
They had to trust that someone would come to the house that day, sometimes was so very difficult to rely on other people for help. There were no mobile phones back then either.
We were often strapped into a baby chair all day, up to about ten hours. Dirty nappies and hungry, no one came to care for us those days. But I do believe that God saw us in those situations, He saw our tears.
I can even remember us been abused sexually from at age of about five, by one young couple.
Sometimes we went hungry for our food was given or shared with their kids, which they brought with them, what could you expect from a poor and underpaid people, they took what they could.
Meaningless life
Many times as a child I tried to take my own life, remember trying to jump off the cupboard onto a pair of scissors, with sheets wrapped around to keep it up on the bed. Other times I ran away from home, once I was found ridding my bicycle(with support wheels) along the motorway at night time, this was before school age. I just had to get out and away. Life seemed so unfair and terrible, I wanted my parents. Hated this life.
Why school?
The year I was going to start school, Nana left her job to look after us, must have been a difficult decision for them to take. Less money coming inn to pay the bills.
I hated school from the very first day, ran away many times. Was mobbed from day one, little skinny boy with freckles and a foreign name (couldn’t pronounce my own name), and from a divorced family which was not very common in those days. With no ability to read or write, under stimulated because of neglect. Was always mobbed because couldn’t afford new school uniforms, and that we lived with very old parents, our grandparents.
Never understood the point of education!
Just wanted to be free and play, was that such a crime?
YES! at our school it was, even my first year at school I was sent to to the principles office, to get the cane on the arse (cane punishment in school, max six), that was only the beginning, got the cane regularly throughout my school years.
Ended up failing the first year and had to do it over again, that was so humiliating for a seven year old kid. Felt the teachers didn’t like me, and my grandparents never had time to get involved school meetings etc.
A terrible thing to be left behind, and knowing your next class pupils were babies, even my own little sister was now in the same class level.
Remember was taken to hospital to get all my baby teeth removed, grandparents could not afford to spend nights awake with my toothache, they had to work. Been toothless was another reason to be mobbed on at school. Later I was stealing pens and sharpeners from the other children and was found out. The teachers came to our house to reclaim all that was stolen, which I had hidden on top of my wardrobe in my room. They asked my grandparents to punish me for stealing.
Did what ever I could to stay away from going home after school, never did any homework, and was always in trouble at school. Started stealing from the local stores, just small things like sweets and matches. That was just the beginning, started stealing bigger and more expensive things, breaking into buildings, clubhouses to destroy and steal. No fear, very exciting and addictive.
Started several big forrest and bush fires in the area………… police came home and warned my grandparents, ordering them to punish me hard. I was unstoppable, out of control, thoughtless.
Eleven years old and I had to do that year over again also, for the second time in primary school. I was a stupid failure. Just could not understand what was going on in class, dyslectic and lack of interest. Now I was two years older than the rest of the class, how embarrassing, and so young to live with the shame. Those who were now my age, were going to high school. And I still had two years left in primary school, would be all grown up before I ever got out.
Remember fighting with some high school boys, while I was still in primary school, because they laughed at me for been a failure. And again I was in trouble, going home again without buttons on my shirt and torne uniforme.
That meant a new fight with my grandmother, it just never ends.